Archive for August, 2011

Dear Firefox: I’m sorry. It’s not me. It’s you. I think it’s time I saw another browser.

Posted on August 4, 2011. Filed under: Miscellaneous Musings |

Back when you were only Firefox 3, I loved you.

You were fast and sleek and assuaged my pointless paranoia and you were willing to change to make me happy.

But then you just had to go and ruin everything between us. You’re supposed to get better with newer versions. Just sayin’.

Sure, you still respect my privacy and I can still customize your interface.

But that doesn’t really matter when I can never be sure that your interface is going to be there for me or crashing in the next five seconds.

And you know what? When you’re actually there for me you drag your heels in the ground and act like it’s 1996. Seriously, we’re running off a DSL here – there is no reason it should take you ten seconds to load a blank page.

I can’t trust you anymore. And that hurts.

So I’m leaving you. FOR GOOGLE-FREAKING-CHROME.

Yeah, that’s how much you hurt me. I’m hanging out with Chrome now. A Google product. And you know how much I despise the Google family and how utterly terrifying they are.

But here’s the thing. Chrome isn’t willing to change very much for me, but darn it, Chrome is there when I need to browse. Every time. All the time.

Chrome doesn’t crash in the middle of loading a video.

Chrome recognizes that I’m a busy person with things to do and a low patience threshold and loads things accordingly.

Chrome spies on me, sure, but with you I generally couldn’t be online long enough for anything worth spying on to happen.

So I’m leaving you now. It kills me to do it, but I just can’t deal with you now.

Someday – when you’ve grown up some and gotten over this whole regression thing – maybe we can be together again.

But right now…I just can’t. I can’t deal with you and your problems. I have problems too, you know!

Chrome isn’t perfect and can be a colossal jerk – but Chrome’s problems are little problems. Little problems that I can deal with.
I’m sorry, love. I have to go now. Chrome is waiting for me.

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